Avoid Wedding Overwhelm?
Impossible! Weddings are stressful! Well I’m here to tell you that they don’t have to be.
You can have the day of your dreams drama-free.
Now I can proudly announce that I managed to survive 18months of wedding prep without a single bridezilla or “oh my god the flowers are wrong!” moment- and yes I checked with my mother, husband and sister before I typed that (I’ll even get them to comment below to confirm it).
What if I told you that there is ONE key step that gets easily forgotten in amongst all the dress, flower, and guest seating arrangements hype?
Of all the steps in a bride’s lengthy to-do-list, hitting the gym, seeking out a personal trainer or committing to a strict diet seems to be at the top of most wife-to–be lists (over a decade in the fitness industry qualifies me to make that statement)
SO MUCH emphasis gets put onto how you should look on this ultra-important day and I’m not going to lie, I trained my ass off (literally and figuratively), watched what I ate and dosed up on all the skin loving tonics, vitamins and products a girl could swallow in prep for my big day- I mean I was getting married on a tropical island, so being photographed in a bikini with my new hubby was a guarantee!
But what a lot of people may not have seen going on behind the scenes was all the INTERNAL work that I (and my hubby) were doing on ourselves individually.
I wanted to look beautiful, yes, but more importantly I wanted to handle this exciting milestone of our lives and step into the new role of wife and ‘Mrs’ with grace, ease and by being completely present in that divine moment.
The one key step to avoiding wedding overwhelm is;
To work on how you want to feel as much as you focus on how you want to look.
Do you want to feel stressed?
If not, then I strongly recommend you decide how it is you want to feel and then do the INTERNAL work needed to be able to feel this way!
Now yes, our wedding was a small, intimate gathering, and you may argue that planning a ‘big’ wedding is more stressful, but I would say that every wedding, regardless of setting, numbers or scenario has the opportunity for its own overwhelm- leaving people out, people not attending, not to mention that we didn’t even see our venue until the day before, didn’t have a contingency “what if it rains plan” & did I mention we organised the entire wedding via email? I really believe it all comes down to how centred & grounded the couple can remain.
So how can you do this?
See below for my top 5 tips to helping you avoid the wedding overwhelm;
- REMEMBER WHAT THE POINT OF THE DAY IS
For us, this was the absolute key– right from the get go we told ourselves that if we both arrived at the beach, with the rings & the celebrant there & we ended the day as husband & wife then the day had been a success! Anything else was icing on the cake.
And something really amazing happens when you embrace this mindset, all the other ‘bits & pieces’ become awesome additions, but not the be-all-and-end all of the day. Do this and watch how free your mind feels.
- TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF YOURSELF!
Stop telling yourself you have to look the best you ever have looked, stop thinking that everything has to go perfectly, will something go differently to plan? Probably! But if you haven’t scrutinised every morsel of detail, chances are you won’t be disappointed as it won’t be different from what you expected!
Instead start waking up every day, look in the mirror & tell yourself you are beautiful (whether you believe it or not, whether it feels silly or not, say it enough & you will start to believe it I promise!)This is the internal work I’m talking about, when someone pays you compliment accept it graciously instead of disagreeing, start seeing yourself as the beautiful woman you are right now. Your Fiancé has proposed to you, as you are right now, knowing how you look right now, already thinking you are beautiful, do you really need to ‘change’ yourself to be bride ready- no!
And something really beautiful happens when you take this pressure of yourself, everything kind of just flows! The more beautiful you tell yourself you are, the more beautiful you start to look, feel and BEHAVE- you start making food choices that someone who loves themselves makes, you start exercising because you want to continue to feel beautiful- it’s amazingly simple and powerful!
Trust me this works.
- PRACTISE BEING PRESENT
I introduced a meditation practise in the 12months leading up to our big day for two main reasons; firstly to help me avoid the overwhelm and secondly to help me stay ‘present’ on the day.
It’s an emotional day, an easy day to hit the ‘anxiety’ button in your head & I really wanted to be able to stay present, graceful & centred & I wanted to remember the day through all my senses! What I smelt, what I heard, how I felt & it’s really hard to tune into your senses if you’re all up in your head.
Start small, 5mins of quiet breathing daily and build up as you become more confident with the practise. For all the savvy meditation goddesses out there, I’d suggest some mindful meditation- practise eating and really igniting your senses throughout the meal, the more present in an active moment you can be, the more of the day you will be able to feel like this!
- REMEMBER IT’S YOUR DAY
Regardless on the size or style of your wedding there will come a point where decisions have to be made, make them as a couple, tune into your heart and honour them. (note- this is much easier if you are doing step 3)
Everyone will have opinions, suggestions & “you really have to ______” (fill in the blank).
Thank them for their input & check in with yourself (and hubby-to-be, it’s his day too!) and then make your decision from your heart- not from a place of guilt. Your mum, sister, aunty may have already had their own day to plan and if not they may get their own, or if they don’t that’s their story, this is yours so make decisions that sit right with you. This is about you and your fiancé, you have a right to decide how the day will be true to your wishes.
If this is a challenge for you, I would strongly recommend doing some work with a Kinesiologist to help you address the feelings of guilt, worry, stress, or fear that may arise with this.
- TRUST THE UINVERSE
Accept that however things pan out, that is just how it was meant to be for you. Are there things I would change if I could? Of course! Having my little brother there is the first thing I think of, but will he always be a big part of my married life, absolutely- so that’s really what mattered to us. (And for those who know me well, would know this was a big step for me)
Our wedding day proved to me that my belief that if I trust ‘what is meant to be, will be’ really is a beautiful way of letting go of control and going with the flow and as a result I felt like we were rewarded for handling things the way we did.
Without really focusing (or stressing) about every little detail, we allowed things to happen as they were meant to and just flow and as a result we were able to be whole-heartedly in the moment and embrace everything with all our senses ignited.
So now that you know my top tips for avoiding wedding overwhelm, I want you to start to think about how you want to feel on the day (and throughout the planning process) and put some steps in place to help you achieve this.
Got some other great tips? Share below to help inspire other Brides-to-be!