Today as we were walking along the beach, baby calmly asleep in the carrier and both dogs running playfully infront of us on lead, I looked at my husband & thought to myself “Wow, we are killing it today”. For any parents out there you would know that the feeling of “nailing it” can be fleeting, but when it turns up it’s pure bliss.
As they do, one of the dogs did a poop, we didn’t have bags with us, so I dug a very deep hole and buried the poop. A lady walking towards us came near and as I looked up and greeted her with a smile, anticipating the oncoming “Good morning” she proceeded to say “Just a suggestion, when you walk on the beach you could bring bags for the poo, I’m sure you don’t want your baby playing in poo one day.”
Funnily enough the week before, walking along the same beach someone had approached me as I scooped poo into the bag and informed me “That’s such a waste of plastic, why don’t you bury it? You want your child to enjoy this beautiful planet don’t you?”
Instantly, my blissful feeling of “nailing it” vanished and an argument began in my head. I wanted to tell that lady how happy I had been feeling just before being criticised. I wanted to tell her that to be honest, grabbing a plastic bag in amongst putting a screaming baby into the car seat and trying to also put 2 excited dogs in the back with a broken car boot was the furthest thing from my mind. I wanted to tell her that she is now part of the collective hundred people who have began telling me what I must want for my child & throwing unrequested opinions & judgements about decisions we are making.
What I would have LOVED to hear from this stranger was any of the following
- “Wow you Guys are doing so well” or
- “Look what a beautiful morning you are having” or
- “Good work guys, getting out in nature at 8am with a baby and 2 dogs”or
- I would have even been super thrilled with a smile and a “Good Morning” as she walked on by minding her business and not feeling the need to rush in and “educate us”.
It got me thinking how in 1 short week I had been “educated” by 2 complete strangers about the same topic with completing opposing ideas on how I “should” do it…. Please note in neither case did I just walk off and leave poop sitting there for someone to tread on.
Perspective is such a funny thing, we all make decisions and judgements based on our perspective.
How we behave, think, feel and act is ALL based on the experiences we have had
and no other person has had that same collection of experiences and therefore their perspective is going to differ.
I wonder, if we could just all keep this in mind when we interact? When we disagree with what someone else is doing and when we approach others. We are all just trying to do the best we can and for the most part people are just living and making decisions that from their perspective they believe is right.
if we all kept being KIND at the forefront of our mind and as our core intention, I feel like we will live more harmoniously, with ourselves & with others.
So, taking on board my own advice, what I wanted to say to this lady was “Take the poo & shove it up your… “ but I didn’t I thought to myself… I don’t love that she interrupted my blissful state with her judgement and desire to teach me something, but I also have no idea where she is coming from, her story or why she felt the need to do that. Anything I tell myself in my head is pure assumption. She also couldn’t know what’s been going on for me. And staying frustrated is me stealing my own bliss & why would I want to do that? (the addictive nature of adrenaline producing emotions is a WHOLE other topic)
So I’m letting it go. And I’m returning to my blissful state because that’s the Kinder thing to do….. for my family, for her and most importantly for me.